The 4/5 trains are operated by some interesting train personnel. From my two years of traversing the 4/5, there are two that stand out the most: 1) Skinny Barry White and 2) Motherly Guy. The names are pretty self-explanatory and if mentioned to a veteran 4/5 strap hanger, they'll probably know what you're talking about.

This morning, I happened to step onto Motherly Guy's train. While busy trying to comprehend the forward-feeding of signals from the retina to the brain in the latest SciAM, the speakers started to rattle with static followed by...

"We are soon approaching 14th street station. Please carefully get off the train and please do not walk backwards. There is a considerably large gap at this station and please, do not walk backwards."

For you non-New Yorkers, the announcements are usually automated and sound like some over-patriotic movie announcer so this was definitely a 'treat'.

During my 15-minute commute from the Upper Eastside to 14th Street Union Square, MG kept on repeating the same messages. Announcements were made in-between and at every stop. This guy was just ridiculously motherly and assumed that everyone on the train was a tourist when in fact, we're just all trying to get to work. It started to get on my nerves, but then as we finally approached Union Square station...

"Watch the large gap. And again, be careful, be good, be safe, and be happy."

And with that, while trying to still understand the image/retina system, a smile came across my face. The final message had a similar effect on other commuters along with some quiet laughter amongst the crowd.

It was the perfect accent.

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Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved.